Meg Ryan in ‘When Harry Met Sally’
So, apparently it’s officially International Masturbation Month and The F Club asked a group of women if they would write something about the subject. A few demurred, feeling perhaps that this was too tricky a taboo. Perhaps it’s the word: “masturbation” which, to my mind, sounds ugly, academic and medical. The other standard descriptor, wank, sounds like a cross between “willy” and “yank” and must have been coined to describe the male activity. Hand job? – yuk; fingering – nope. Self pleasuring sounds unbearably American. So what’s left and reflects the female activity? I don’t know. Maybe that’s part of the reason why we don’t talk about it.
I’ve always thought of giving oneself an orgasm is a wonderful powerful trick to have up one’s sleeve. Say you’re having a lazy and guilt free morning in bed drinking tea and catching up on your reading. Then you think, I know what I can do to excite and relax me…. Or maybe you just can’t get to sleep and you think – brainwave – yep that’ll do it. That’s quite fun, I think.
But there have been two times in my life, when being able to have an on-demand orgasm, made a real difference in a seriously important practical way.
When I younger, before I had children, I would get really vicious period pains – so bad that I would lie in bed, in agony, for the whole of the first day. I read that if you could have an orgasm, the uterine cramps would be relieved. And blimey it worked! Once, I even did this in the loo at work – not necessarily the most romantic or sexy experience, but a very effective one.
The other valuable use of this technique, I learned from my rather wacky ante natal teacher, was to bring on labour. Imagine the scene, I’m in hospital, overdue and having experienced bleeding that morning. The consultant had insisted to the medical staff that “that baby needs to be delivered within the next 24 hours”. I’d been told I would be given oxytocin in the morning, and I really didn’t want a medically induced labour. It’s now 4 am in the morning and nothing is happening. I’m on my own in a side room and was pretty desperate. So I valiantly gave it a go. And, result! Not long after, the contractions started, and some hours later my daughter was born. True story. Power of the self induced orgasm.
We talk about periods, sex, childbirth, and more and more, we talk about the menopause, but we don’t talk about masturbation and self love orgasms. Perhaps we should share more? What do you think?
(This was posted anonymously!) x